“Right now, all we can see in front of us are commas and semi-colons with no periods in sight. This is going to have an impact on our sexuality.” -Edward Angelini-Cooke
***Last week, I recorded a podcast with Cubs Out Loud about getting our sexual needs met during this time and some changes we can make to get those needs met. This is adult content with sexual content so you may not want to listen with the kiddos around. While this podcast is primarily geared towards the Bear community, many of the suggestions can be universally applied ***
You may be finding that your libido has increased or even decreased….both of those are natural reactions. We are all living in a traumatic situation and it is completely natural to experience a range of emotions….one of them being fear of not having our sexual needs met. You may also find that your access to getting your sexual needs met have been greatly reduced due to social distancing. Fear not! In this podcast, Edward and the boys discuss strategies to get your sexual needs met through mindful masturbation, video, and phone sex. Edward also talks about ways to maintain social distant relationships during this time.
Is it safe to have sex right now? Well, if we look at the research we will see that the novel coronavirus is not sexually transmitted, however the precautions needed to avoid transmission does not get my engines going. Translation: now is not the time to be physically hooking up with that hot guy on Growlr. If we live with our sexual partner, have at it. My only recommendation is to stop having sex if you or your partner starts exhibiting symptoms. In fact, the CDC recommends you limit physical contact as much as possible and even sleep in separate beds for 14 days.
These are scary times….but we can choose to make the most of it. If we are in a relationship, we can use this time to practice some vulnerability and increase our intimacy with our partner. John Gottman has some great tools to increase your relationship friendship. Physical touch may be your primary love language, however maybe now might be a good time to focus on one of other love languages. Britney Spears provided us with a great tool to identify our love languages:
Something else we need to consider is re-entry back into society. Sexual risk taking is a trauma reaction and we need to draw some awareness around the idea that people may not be making the best decisions once social distancing restrictions are lifted. It is quite possible we may see an increase of sexually transmitted infection (STI) rates. Have conversations with your sexual partners and potential partners about your sexual health. Also, if you have disengaged in your PrEP routine during this time, please make sure to consult your provider when you are ready to begin again.
Sexual needs are valid needs. Share far and wide.
